The Silent Partner & The Silent Majority
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THE SILENT PARTNER AND THE SILENT MAJORITY
"BECAUSE THEY LEAD MY PEOPLE ASTRAY, SAYING "PEACE" WHEN THERE IS NO PEACE, AND BECAUSE, WHEN A FLIMSY WALL IS BUILT, THEY COVER IT WITH WHITEWASH, THEREFORE TELL THOSE WHO COVER IT WITH WHITEWASH THAT IT IS GOING TO FALL. RAIN WILL COME IN TORRENTS, AND I WILL SEND HAILSTONES HURTLING DOWN, AND VIOLENT WINDS WILL BURST FORTH. WHEN THE WALL COLLAPSES, WILL PEOPLE NOT ASK YOU, "WHERE IS THE WHITEWASH YOU COVERED IT WITH?" THEREFORE THIS IS WHAT THE SOVEREIGN LORD SAYS: IN MY WRATH I WILL UNLEASH A VIOLENT WIND, AND IN MY ANGER HAILSTONES AND TORRENTS OF RAIN WILL FALL WITH DESTRUCTIVE FURY. I WILL TEAR DOWN THE WALL YOU HAVE COVERED WITH WHITEWASH AND WILL LEVEL IT TO THE GROUND SO THAT ITS FOUNDATION WILL BE LAID BARE. WHEN IT FALLS, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED IN IT; AND YOU WILL KNOW THAT I AM THE LORD. SO I WILL SPEND MY WRATH AGAINST THE WALL AND AGAINST THOSE WHO COVERED IT WITH WHITEWASH. I WILL SAY TO YOU, "THE WALL IS GONE AND SO ARE THOSE WHO WHITEWASHED IT"....Ezekiel 13: 10-15 NIV.
"Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the oppressed. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented"......Elie Weisel
The Silent Partner is any relative who stands by silently while you are victimized, or who takes the abuser's side against the victim. She, or he, is usually the other parent, who abdicates her parental responsibility to protect her children, or, worse yet, sacrifices her children to the abuser in order to make her own life easier.
In most cases of birth-family abuse, there is usually not just one single Silent Partner. Several, if not many, family members collude with, protect, and cooperate with the abuser, and participate in scape-goating, pressuring, ostracizing, or trying to silence the victim. I will refer to these evil participants in our abuse as the Silent Majority, although that term requires a bit of clarification. In many instances they are far from silent. Although they might be silent about the actual abuse inflicted upon us, they can be quite vehement in insisting that the victim is wrong for not continuing to accept it.
While encouraging an abuser to operate freely in their midst, they will not be silent when it comes to criticizing the victim. They will look the other way when the victim is being mistreated, never validating her or defending her, and then attack her when she defends herself. The one that they gossip about, smear to others, judge, and condemn will invariably be the victim rather than the abuser. In their sick, evil, twisted minds, it is the long-suffering victim who is the family “trouble-maker”, never the abuser himself. They don’t ever believe there’s anything wrong with him. They don’t see a problem with his behavior. Why? It’s simple. Because birds of a feather stick together.
In our Lord-Of-The-Flies birth-families, the Silent Partner and The Silent Majority don’t bat an eye at betraying an innocent family member who loves them, and serving her up on a silver platter to be sacrificed to vicious, lifelong abuse. They specialize in re-victimizing the victim. Although not as open and obvious about it as the “Alpha Dog” abuser, they are every bit as guilty as he is. By either their silence, or their speaking up against the wrong person, they allow and encourage the abuse to continue. They are PARTNERS with the abuser. They are abusers, too, and it’s time we give them the credit for it .
***For more on this topic, please visit the Sections on WHY THEY ABUSE, BETRAY OR ABANDON YOU, THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE,SETTING & ENFORCING LIMITS & BOUNDARIES, REBUKING, THE ABUSER'S REACTIONS TO REBUKE, FORGIVENESS, REPENTING & APOLOGIES, REPROBATES & CUTTING TIES, HAPPIER HOLIDAYS, CLAIMING THE VICTORY, and FINDING PEACE .
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The Lord specifically called Sister Renee to minister to Adult Children, not their parents, estranged siblings or friends, abusive or abused spouses, or victims of other types of abuse, although what we write here can often be meaningful for those folks as well. Because of this, our ministry and website have a narrow focus which we will not be changing. We simply can't cover everything. In addition, it is not our purpose to help you re-establish contact with someone who felt it was necessary to cut you off for the sake of their own well-being. We do not keep a list of resources for estranged parents or any other type of abuse and suggest if you are sincerely interested in making amends with an estranged relative, you do an internet search for a website or group that will be more relevant to you. If you cannot find a group or site that you can relate to, we suggest you start your own, and bless other people in your position as well as find support for your personal issues.
For Adult Children and others as well, please understand that we cannot give you personal advice concerning your particular family relationships. We are not therapists or lawyers, we usually do not have enough information to form an opinion, and time does not permit us to give enough thought to each person's individual situation to do it justice. If you need personal advice, we urge you to contact the appropriate professional, depending on the problem you have- your minister, therapist, attorney, police department, local domestic violence hotline, etc. In reading this site, you acknowledge that nothing you might read here qualifies as or substitutes for professional advice. Please note we cannot recommend or refer you to a counselor and we do not have a list of therapists or recovery groups in your area. The only Counselor we recommend is the Holy Ghost, and we encourage you to read the Bible and learn for yourself what the Lord says about the issues we write about.
Our articles are strictly our personal opinions and testimonies and are not intended to give or offer any advice. All who access this site do so with the understanding that we are NOT professional counselors and we strongly recommend that you discuss your individual situation with your pastor or therapist and pray for the Lord's guidance before acting on anything we write on this site. Unfortunately, the abuse we discuss is all too common, inflicted on countless victims by countless perpetrators. All names and identifying details in our articles have been changed to protect the innocent as well as the guilty. Any resemblance to a real person or persons whom you might know is strictly coincidental.